excuse me, this is going to be a little bit of a rant but i just really need to get my feelings out right now, or i may literally explode. lately i’ve been in this really depressed funk and it’s not going away. i’m broke, i’m not pretty to myself, i don’t dress cute enough, i don’t have good hair, i’m a filthy junkie, i mean… i could go on and on but i know that won’t solve my problems. i just honestly don’t know what to do about it. i know that probably the first thing i should do is get clean, but i really don’t want to. when i’m high, i forget how to feel. my emotions dissolve and i’m happy, for one. it may be an artificial happiness but while it lasts it feels good. but as much as i don’t want to give my bad habit up, i’m literally completely broke so i don’t have much of a choice for now. but once i get a job or just find the next thing to pawn, i know exactly who the first person i’m going to call is. it’s not like i even want this lifestyle anymore though, it’s just i really don’t feel good enough. heroin has thankfully gotten me skinny, but that’s just once piece of the puzzle. i don’t even know if any of this made sense but i just had to get my thoughts out. now i really need a cig. </3